I have often questioned God...in fact, I question Him on a daily basis. It's entirely healthy, I'm sure. It's most likely what makes our relationship work. But there's a catch--when questioning God, one mustn't expect to arrive at satisfactory answers or any answers for that matter. And that's part of the point, isn't it? Honestly, to understand God would be to make Him un-god-like.
I'm hardly the first person to shake my head in puzzlement or my finger in accusation at the ways of the Divine. The world's best-selling book of all time is full of personal accounts of those who have wrestled with God.
Imagine the heartache and pain Hagar must've felt when Abraham sent her away because God told him to do so (Genesis 21). And talk about daddy issues--what kind of emotions, thoughts, and questions must've clambered for resolution in Ishmael's head? Sure, Hagar and Ishmael were not part of God's original blessing intended for Abraham, who being human succumbed to his own doubts about God. But didn't Abraham deserve to take ownership of his own decisions and actions? Shouldn't Abraham have been required to deal with the natural consequences? Where is the justice in this case? Why does it seem like God chose to punish the woman who was her mistress's pawn? Why does God sanction Abraham's banishment of his first-born son?
I've never been truly comfortable with the idea of sacrificing something for "the greater good". This is a concept often explored in stories involving intelligence agencies, espionage, and deception. Believing that sacrificing something for the greater good is honestly the best thing to do requires a strong faith in the good character of the decision maker--especially when the sacrifice is a life.
When looking at the stories of Abraham in the Bible, one must remember that God sees the bigger picture--a picture of which we can only get the tiniest glimpse. As sinful mortals, we are incapable of comprehending pure, all-loving divinity; we are blessed to even be allowed the chance to sense it at all! But those who do reach out to God, and begin to walk with Him, can attest to His goodness.
Abraham most certainly could testify of God's faithfulness and goodness. The fact that God wanted to speak to Abraham at all is amazing--but what's even more incredible about this is that by speaking to Abraham, God wasn't just trying to talk with one particular human, God was seeking a man through whom He could bless all people. A man to father a nation, people, world that would give birth to greatness--to divinity! This is why God tested Abraham.
Nobody likes to face tests that involve life and death. But once Abraham embarked on his friendship with God, he also began a life where the tests and temptations that he faced were vitally important to the development of his character. Only a man who was strong in faith and obedience would be able to receive God's intended blessings and pass them on. Ironically, we are often our own worst enemies; we miss out on God's blessings because we stand in our own way.
Some tests Abraham passed--he left his hometown for an unknown promised land when God called him, and others he failed--he lied about his marriage to Sarah when he sought refuge in Egypt (Genesis 12). Yet, God's grace abounded in Abraham's weakness. Unconditional love is like that though, it never gives up and always seeks for new opportunities.
By the time Isaac was born, Abraham was a great man of faith. He had questioned and tested God enough to be confident in God's good-will, obligation to His promises, and love. So when God told Abraham, who was distressed over the conflict between his two wives and their sons, to send Hagar and Ishmael away, Abraham knew that only goodness could come from obedience. And while it must've been an incredibly painful experience for Hagar and Ishmael, it couldn't have been easy for Abraham to do. Yet this was a test that Abraham passed, and it was a test that prepared him for the next one. For it wasn't until Ishmael was out of the way that God could test the extent of Abraham's obedience and faith.
As if it weren't bad enough for God to demand that Abraham give up his first-born son, God, out of the blue one night, tells Abraham to sacrifice his promised son, Isaac, in Moriah (Genesis 22). To someone unfamiliar with God's mysterious ways, such a command is on par with the horrors of cannibalism or mass murder. It seems to be at its very core fundamentally cruel and sadistic. Just take a moment to comprehend this: if Ishmael had still been living with Abraham when God asked him to sacrifice Isaac, the test wouldn't have been nearly as difficult. If both sons were still living with Abraham, it is likely that his love would've been equally divided between the two. But with Ishmael out of the picture, all of Abraham's love, attention, and hopes were pinned on Isaac--the child of promise. So to give up this son, was a request that had the potential to completely undo Abraham.
It would surprise no one if such a request from God would've shaken Abraham to his core and caused him to question if God was going to break His word. But here's the thing, Abraham's faith in God's good character was so strong that he didn't doubt that God would stay true to His promises. Isaac was a promised child through whom God said He would bless all nations. Abraham believed that God, who had given him Isaac in the first place, was plenty able to bring Isaac back to life (Hebrews 11:19). This is evidenced in Abraham's statement to his servants when he asked them to wait while he and Isaac went on ahead: "Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you." (Genesis 22:5) Notice that Abraham says WE will return. Abraham did not doubt God's faithfulness even when he was given good cause to do so.
So what about Hagar and Ishmael? Because of Abraham's obedience and faith, God blessed them too. God wasn't deaf to their cries. God spoke to Hagar in the wilderness, told her not to fear, and promised her that He would make Ishmael's descendants a great nation too.
In an imperfect world where humans make mistakes, nobody gets away unscathed, but because of Abraham's obedience, we are all blessed. In fact, if we would just step out of the way, God would just keep piling those blessings on.
This is where I come in with all my questions, doubts, fears, and worries. We are all decedents of Abraham, and as such, we have the right to claim the same promises that he did.
The church I attend is doing a 21 day fast...it's a time of prayer and seeking God's favor. But I fear that my lack of faith will get in the way. I realize that this is a time that God may choose to test me. And it all really comes down to this: Am I willing to send away my Ishamels so I can offer up my Isaacs to God?
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